Hilsen fra Norge

05.07.2004

Hilsen fra Norge!

After a rather underwhelming lunch of fish and chips in a Kilkenny pub last year, I decided to treat myself to a rather more interesting affair for my quarter-century attainment. I had originally fancied whisking off to the rambunctious metropolis of Rome, to see if both it and I had changed in the (almost) 7 years since I was last there. Rome had proven to be an endless source of vexation for me as I struggled to navigate my way around the cacophonic melange that is the eternal city of poco loco Vespa riders, warding off the incessant unsolicited advances of lecherous lotharios, whilst avoiding getting turned into minced-meat by the enslaught of perennial horn-honking obsessed Romans.

But it was never to be, as Ryan Air had sold out of their ridiculously low fares....but thanks to my move to bonny Scotland, I realised I had been afforded access to a plethora of cheap flights that were not previously available to me from Dublin.

So Norway it was to be.

Unfortunately only for a week - but bloody hell, that's all an impoverished, unemployed, sheila like me could ever hope to have afforded!

To give you some perspective on prices in Norway.....here's a rough guide...

Big Mac (not a meal) - €4.11/$AUD7.09
300ml Mocha - €3.75/$AUD6.50
500ml Coca-Cola - €4/$AUD6.70
Wrigleys 10 piece chewing gum - €1.20/$AUD2
1 litre unleaded petrol - €1.55/$AUD2.70
Dinner 2 people (no alcohol, basic Chinese) - €53/$AUD92
Laundry (one pair of smelly socks) - $AUD6.10 (I kid you not! oh and they weren't mine)
Taxi fare - 8km distance - €20/$AUD34.70
1 night hostel accomm - a bargain!! €17/£11.50/$AUD30

You get my drift hey?

As for some trivia on Norway:

*It is not an EU member but is party to various EEA arrangements which mean it has access to the European market, and is allowed to fish to its heart's content

*Norwegians are on average more aesthetically advantaged" than most nations of people - though I still think their Swedish neighbours are pipping them for the #1 title

*the Norwegian Vikings are responsible for settlements in places as far afield as Sicily, Greenland, Newfoundland (CA) and Dublin

*Two of its most famous sons were boath Roalds - Roald Dahl (who in addition to fathering the kooky model Sophie, wrote a few kiddies books on the side) and Roald Amundsen - the first man to reach the South Pole in 1911

*The average Norwegian eats 200 "polse" (hot dogs) a year

*Everyone in Norway is obsessed with gambling

*Lemmings in Norway do indeed go jumping over cliff-edges and plummet to their fate in the fjords below

*Norwegians drink a hell of a lot of alcohol, which is somewhat surprising considering the bizarre retail alcohol laws, as follows - In Norway, you can buy beer and nothing stronger, on weekdays only up until 8pm, and on Saturdays only until 6pm. After those times, or if you are in search of anything a little stronger, you must head to a Vinmonopolet. In what appears to be a borrowed concept from the former Soviet Union, you must first select your poison, take a number, queue for a long time, and then go to the counter where you will end up paying about 5 times what you would pay in any other country - Ireland included!

Anyway, back to my trip...

After a quick flight from Glasgow, I took another flight from Oslo, across Southern Norway's snow-mottled mountains that tumbled into turquoise hued fjords at their extremities, to arrive in Bergen , renowned not only as the gate-way to the Western fjords, but also for its absolutely deplorable weather (odds on heavy rain most days), to find an immaculate yacht-filled marina basking in glorious summer sunshine (good weather tends to follow me for some reason). Upon arrival I had a quick wander about the town before taking the Floibanen funicular up Mt Floyen ("The Vane") to be afforded a magnificient view down over Bergen and the surrounding fjordlands.

The next day I took the much-hyped, and a tad overpriced Norway in a Nutshell tour. It started with a 2 hour journey along the Bergen Railway line, before changing lines onto the 20km Flam Railway (an engineering masterpiece with 5 sets of brakes to prevent the train from sliding back down the mountainside) past spectacular waterfalls and mountain scenery, jumping on a 2 hour cruise through the Aurlandsfjord and Naeroyfjord (meaning of course "narrow fjord"), and then heading back across to Bergen. The cruise was splendid, and a source of great amusement as I was sitting amidst a large contingent of wealthy Japanese tourists, who in their Armani suits accessorized with Bally Shoes and Louis Vuitton Handbags (even the men!!), took great delight in reaching their hands up into the sky to feed the dive-bombing scavanging sea-gulls copious quantities of Pringles! (Of course with the soulful melodies of Grieg in the background, this made for quite a beautiful experience).

Back in Bergen the next day, I wound my way around the narrow cobble-stoned warrens that make up the present day city. Past the Bryggen, the gable-lined medieval waterfront village that was home to the Hanseatic merchants who traded beer and grain for fish; through the Torget's open-air fish market where the fishmongers show off their fresh daily catches of cod, herring, salmon and prawns; and up the passages of the Ovregaten - where a colourful mix of large 19th century villas curve up the hillside overlooking the city, providing a quiet respite from the bustle of the touristed centre below. I finished up the day with a quick visit to the Lepramuseet - a museum which is dedicated to the fight against leprosy in Norway - very strange indeed! According to the information provided at the museum, 3% of the population of Norway were classified as lepers at one point, and the Norwegian researcher, Hansen (leprosy is aka Hansen's disease) was responsible for identifying the leprosy bacillus. And in case you are really keen on learning about leprosy, the Norwegian word for hospital, derives from their word for leprosy - i.e. hospitals were places where lepers were housed; many for 30 or 40 years!

Stavanger was my next port of call to catch up with my old Saffa flatmate who is working there for a few months (as ya do!). Stavanger is essentially a port city founded on its oil industry, and is consequently home to a considerable number of wealthy ex-patriates with not too shabby yachts. It is surprisingly pleasant (for an oil city), and a little less tourist-swamped than Bergen. Still loads of Americans though - like everywhere else in Norway. Could it be all that oil perhaps?!?! Aside from watching the Rugby, we went on a hike up to Preikestolen ("the pulpit rock"), a large naturally formed 25 square metre plateau of rock which has sheer drops of 600m on three of its sides into the delightful Lysefjord below. It is thought that Preikestolen was given its name due to its possible significance as a sacrificial Viking site, but no-one really knows for sure. Pretty impressive drop down regardless.

A quick flight back East brought me to Oslo, purportedly the most sunny Scandinavian capital - a nice change from the eternal cloud/rain/wind/cold that has lingered in Edinburgh for the whole time I've been here! Upon arrival, I headed first to the Munch gallery...a most melancholic affair....his artworks typically portraying images of extremities of love, anxiety, death, anguish and despair. Here I saw his famous work "Skril" or "The scream" and all of its variations. After a quick wander through town, I wandered along King Johan's gate - the main pedestrian shopping area in downtown Oslo, before finishing the day with a little statue gazing at the wonderful Vigelandsparken, an open-aired statue park created as a means of celebrating the human form - an obelisk comprised of an entanglement of human figures is its centrepiece. The park is a favourite afternoon relaxation spot for locals and tourists alike - for a game of frisbee or football, sunbaking (yes, nude), roller-rapping, doggy walking etc.

I spent my final day in Oslo visiting the "must see" (hmmm but yeah kinda boring) VikingShip museum, detailing the history of Vikings from the Nordic countries and displaying the frames of the oldest Viking ships in the world. From here, a quick trip to the exceedingly more interesting Folksmuseum, before catching a ferry back across the harbour to the Aker Brygge, the former shipyard now home to loads of nice cafes and shops, going for a stroll through the Royal Palace gardens, and finally catching the train up to the Holmenkollen ski jump and its attached, interesting ski history museum. This ski jump is 110m long, and plays host to an annual ski jumping comp - considered a national holiday by most Norwegians, including the Royal Family who bag the best seats every year.

And now back in Edinburgh, doing temp secretarial work for absolutely horrendous pay - not bad work though. Eds is an absolutely grandiose city, though the weather is a national disgrace! Even the Scots are appalled by it. Apparently the temperature at the moment is 17 - let's just remember that this is Summer though - CRAZY!!

Anyway, greetz to all, hope all is well wherever you may be - Sydney, Melbourne, Tassie, Tassie (well there are two parts to each of you!), Eire, England etc etc........

Write back and let me know what you're all up to.

Cheers

Love Belinda